Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
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he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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