Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize
