i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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