someone get that fucking seahorse.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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