Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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