But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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