Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
