Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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