He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
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I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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