I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
wow bdsm is so cute
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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