No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I'm like, not good at living.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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