Buhtt sex?
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
