I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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