All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
