I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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