Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
