Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
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I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
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There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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