Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
