What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I want her autograph on my taint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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