McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
