I think my fart just growled at me.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
