spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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