I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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