Having a random hookup so left but love u
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
My liver just had a heart attack.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
