Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
