its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
did i walk over a car last night?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
