I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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