she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
You pole danced in your parka.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
