We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
