C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
