i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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