I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
