from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
