hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize