clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
