I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I think a kid would responsible me up
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Randomize
