Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
