On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Sorry about my life...
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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