He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
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Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
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I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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