I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
