Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
3 2 1 whiskey
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
