Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
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