everyone is single if you try hard enough
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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