I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
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