if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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