She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
