your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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