angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
