I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
