At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
