If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
