my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
