We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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