Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
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I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
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we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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