whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
